I LOVE US

Yes, it feels like I like it I love it when we're together. When we're apart, we're so dysfunction.
Well, the quote's taken from (500) Days of Summer.

DADDY THINGY ON MOVIES

Gue selalu gak tahan tiap kali nonton film-film yang ada adegan dramatis antara ayah dan anak, terutama anak cewe ya. Gaktau kenapa. Pasti gue cengeng banget kalo udah urusan film gitu. Haha film apa aja sih kayanya gue bakalan cengeng juga sih nontonnya.

Hmm, misalnya apa ya? Ini nih yang paling gue inget. BIG DADDY. Itu loh filmnya Adam Sandler. Yang tentang dia ngaku-ngaku jadi bapak dari anak temen seflat-nya. Itu sinting banget deh bikin nangisnya. Huhu. DVD gue sampe patah 3 kali (which means I've bought it for 3 times) dan sekarang gue lagi gak ada DVDnya lagi. Hiks. Gue selalu inget kata-katanya Sonny Koufax waktu dia disidang. Dia ngomong gini sama bokapnya, eh intinya aja deh. Gue lupa kata-kata pastinya. Bahwa bokapnya Sonny emang boleh khawatir kalo Sonny akan menerima celaka, dirampok, dijambret, apapun deh yang bikin gagal. Tapi bapaknya Sonny (named Lenny), seharusnya gaperlu takut kalo Sonny akan gagal jadi ayah. Karna Sonny ga mungkin gagal. Sonny GAK BOLEH gagal. Alright. The rest of the scene is that the people in the court room start calling their daddys back home just to say "I LOVE YOU DADDY."

Tiap di adegan itu, air mata gue banjir. Haha. Dan freakily, gue selalu mengulang bagian itu. I just love it.



Ngomong-ngomong, nonton Cloudy with a Chance of Meatball aja gue nangis loh. Haha aneh juga kan? Yang pas bapaknya si siapa tuh -lupa deh gue nama tokoh utamanya- ngomong ke anaknya pake translator. Aaaa, sediihh. Tapi semua orang bingung sih kenapa gue nangis haha.


Dan baru-baru aja, gue nonton film Gone Baby Gone (ini film disutradarain sama Ben Affleck loh). FIlm lama sih, tapi gue baru liat DVDnya. Dan disitu, ada adegan Morgan Freeman (as Jack Doyle) yang ketauan nyembunyiin anak perempuan korban penculikan. Sebetulnya Doyle ini baik loh maksudnya. Secara ibunya si anak ini emang kacau, ga becus ngurus anaknya gitu. Dan ada semacama konspirasi untuk menculik i Amanda (anak cewe) ini. Doyle, yang menurut cerita harus kehilangan anak perempuannya karena dibunuh, otomatis seneng-seneng aja waktu dapet tawaran untuk merawat Amanda diem-diem. Padahal Doyle ini polisi loh. Singkat kata, aksi ini ketauan, dan Doyle harus masuk penjara. Meeenn, adegan waktu Doyle dimasukkin ke mobil polisi dan dia ngeliat Amanda nangis-nangis gamau disuruh pulang, bener-bener miris :'(



Well, sebetulnya banyak sih film-film yang kaya gitu. Yang gampang bikin gue mewek. Pokoknya asal film itu berhubungan sama bokap-anak dan oma-cucu, pasti gueee kejerrr. Ada cerita pribadi di balik itu sih. Tapi ga penting juga ya diomongin sekarang hehe. Kapan-kapan aja deh.


Next time gue review yang lainnya. ADIOS.

10 Things I Hate About You

I've just watched " 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU " and Kat Stratford's poem blows my mind. The words are playing inside my head. I repeated the scene over and over, just in try to catch up words. Though I could google it, I just wanna get it by myself. Aren't they right?

I hate the way you talk to me.

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car.

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots.

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Poor Kat. Now I'm successfully wet my bed. Girls will always be girls ya? :)
Anyways, Heath Ledger's just sooo drop dead gorgeous with his messy style in that movie. Too bad he had to go that fast. I watch all of his movies. And yeah James Franco's of course.

Random Thoughtful Ideas

* I know you want me. But you don't keep me. That makes no difference for me to be or not to be there. *

* I can't see the negatives of people. My mind just doesn't work that way. *

* Loosen up your sandy hands. The more you keep it tightly in your hands, the sand run out. *

* Talk to yourself before you talk to people. You can't keep it up if it has the boomerang effect. *

* If you're sinless you may throw the first ball.*

* That is why, not seeing each other kills the best of us. The old pattern keeps us us when the right pattern makes us disfunctioned. *

* People talk so all the time, behind my back. Feels like I wanna throw the facts but then it'll break your heart. I'm not that mean darling, I'm not that mean... *

* Don't talk like you know me. Because if you know me, you wouldn't talk. Understanding rests inside mind. *

* Wishing life is more like an i-pod. Random, shuffled, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, but always fun to enjoy. Until the battery runs out... (And the worst, it's nonchargeable?) *

When You Love Someone (Endah ft. Rhesa)

I love you but it’s not so easy to make you here with me
I wanna touch and hold you forever
But you’re still in my dream
And I can't stand to wait ‘till nite is coming to my life
But I still have a time to break a silence

When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true

I used to hide and watch you from a distance and i knew you realized
I was looking for a time to get closer at least to say “hello”
And I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life

When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true

And I never thought that I’m so strong
I stuck on you and wait so long
But when love comes it can’t be wrong
Don’t ever give up just try and try to get what you want
Cause love will find the way

When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true

:: Read carefully. Sometimes it works in reverse version. No one ever really knows :) ::

I'm Feeling You

Sometimes, I imagine the world without you
But most times, I’m just so happy that I ever found you
It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
Hope we always, always stay the same

I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you

You go, and then I can finally breathe in
‘Cause baby I know, in the end you’re never leavin’
Well we’re rarely ever sane, I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it warms me up like no one knows

'Cause I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you

I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days

Oh, I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
Oh, I'm feelin' you

Oh, I’m feelin’ the way that you cross my mind
And the way that you save me in the nick of time
Oh I’m feelin’ the way when you walk on by
I feel light, I feel love, I feel butterflies
I feel butterflies

(The whole sentences are too sweet. I am as much as it is).

-

People live in memory, well there's nothing wrong with that

The more it causes misery because they live it for a long time

While you're continuing your life it has to be passed by

It can't be kept even on your present or future

We're moving on we let it away

If you can't then just don't move on

Wait, watch, and let the show ends

Somehow anything that has a start has a finish

Imagine you're in a race

You know your finish, you know how it'll be going on

And when you see the line, you're questioning

In what way will you reach the end?

You want it slow you'll be much pained

You want it quick you're not really into it

You need help so please tell them to say goodbye

Because you're not too good in that, you know it so bad

fasting days

Well starts from tomorrow, Moslems will have their fasting days. Yang mana gue juga pasti ikutaan hehe karna biasa dan terkondisikan. Kasian tapi temen2 gue di tempat kkn yang masih stuck disini, luntang lantung, padahal udah jobless tapi ga dipulang2in. Sinting emang dpl sama lppm. Ga pengertian bgt sih. Ga mikirr apa kalo kita masih ada kuliah dll. Teruus kita juga puasa. Dan kita harus bolak balik kuliah - tempat kkn, nglaju gitu, di bulan puasa. Emang kurang waras tuh. Stress semua anak2. Mana denger2 gosipnya kkn bisa diextend sampe 7 september. Duileee mati aja di kampung orang :(


Kasiaaann temen2 gue yang gabisa puasa hari pertama dirumah. Pastii sedih. Bakalan ribet juga nih kayanya karna gue kan disini masak sendiri. Gimana coba sahurnya? Malay bgt deh masakk. Huhu. Ini aja gue lagi masak2 abis terawehan gitu. Biar besok tinggal dipanasin aja. Ngomong2 tadi gue ikut teraweh. Kikukk sih, tapi disuruh pak rt jadinya gaenakk. Pak rt gue bilang seneng bgt kalo liat gue dijilbabin haha yaampun jadi gue selalu diharusin ikut pengajian dan tadi disuruh teraweh. Pinter aja lagi alesannya : daripada kamu dirumah sendirian mba nadin.

Tapii ada yang mengganjal juga sih. Gapapa ga sih kalo gue ikutan solat gitu2? Kata temen gue nita sih asal niatnya baik ya gapapa. Dan ya gue emang gapunya niat aneh2 sih sekedar mau tau aja gapapa kan? Toh kalo di bali di tempat sodara I learnt how to pray in pura. Dulu juga pernah ke klenteng2 gitu (haha banyak coba2nya). Mungkin yg agak aneh karna kalo solat kan pake mukena gitu2 sama kaya pake baju adat di bali dulu juga kikukk sih tapi udah lupa rasanya gimana hehe. Ohh ya berarti sama aja lah ya :)


Anyways kkn gue diundurr tgl 7 september dan itu siaaaal bgt ya hikss. Males bgt kalo ada kuliah disuruh nglaju itu. Capeeekk gila. Hah ini dpl gue katanya besok sabtu mau kesini sih mau ngefixin nasib kita gimana. Doakan yang terbaik lah.

Well apa lagi ya? Udah ah gue udah skip soalnya ngantukkss banget hehe. Besok harus bangun pagi. Goodnight!

kacaaaauuu

Wah kacauu nih kkn. Masak gosipnya bakal diundur gitu penarikannya sampe tanggal 31? Gile aja looo. Jelas2 senin udah mulai kuliah. Ah malayy banget kan kkn lama2. Masalahnya unit gue beneran udah jobless. Kasian juga anak2 yang puasa kalo harus puasa disini. Belom lagi di tempat gue semua masak2 sendiri hiks rebek banget kan bakalan?

Anyways bentarr lagi kuliah. Bentar lagi ketemu anak2. Asiikkk. Beneran harus main2 segera nih. Ndyy udah ngajakin wii, okelah. Irya ngajak karaoke, lebih oke. Peppy ngajak nonton, nah ini apalagi gue gatahan :)

Semester ini semester terakhir ambil teori abis itu bebas teori. Waaa skripsi bakal kaya apa ya? Zzzzz. Nyari tema susah beneerr. Duhh mana masih harus ngulang mpkk lagi aah tetot bgt gue kalo disuruh ngitung2 huhu. Pokoknyaa harus tertib sama deadline deh. Maksimal agustus 2010 gue haruss lulus. Then out from jogja. Baliii hereee I comeee :) Entah kenapa gue pengeeen bgt2 tinggal di bali. Jakarta crowded bgt, jogja lack of opportunity. Balii, santai cool great environment high income dll. Sooo I think bali is the best. Doakan yaa.


Soooo for now I just wish that this crap thing called kkn will be end asap. Becauseee I'm bored to death. I wanna go back to civilization (not that the villagers are uncivilized but yaaa I need city sphere) soon. Meet up my buddies. Start schooling. And maintain my life, mean like arranging plan and displace the unimportant things. I want to put my ducks in a row. Gotta be serious and concentrate on my aims. Yell 'breake a leg' to me then :)

indonesia tuaaaaa

Well hari ini hari kemerdekaan RI. Waaaa tua juga ya tahun ini indonesia udah 64 tahun gitu umurnya. Hehe kapan ya indo sesukses amrik? Apa iya dia harus berumur 300an tahun dulu baru sukses? Hehe. Yaa semoga tambah yang baik2 ajalah :)

Semalem tuh ada tirakatan di desa gue. Semacam apa ya, acara kumpul bareng2 warga gitu sebelom tanggal 17 dan engga tiduur gitu sampe midnite. Bodohnyaaaa adalah : gue ketiduran! Haha kebo bgt emang. Jadi tuh tadinya anak2 cewe gue engga ada yg mau ikut tirakatan soalnya biasanya yg banyak dateng tuh cowo. Eh ternyata kita sampe disamperin mas-mas desa disuruh dateng. Tapinyaaaa gue keburu tewas di kasuur. Haha gue kecapekan abis berjuang di dapur, demi indonesia. Terus dibangunin engga bisa2 huhu maaf ya teman. Alhasil gue ditinggalin. Nahhh bangkenyaa ya, anak2 resee bgt. Pas ditanyain 'mba nadinnya mana?' Eh malah dijawab 'waaah dia mah kalo udah ketemu kasur langsung nempel. Emang dasar dia Aura Kasur.' MALUUU BGT gasihhhh? Sialan. Mana nanti malem gue mau ngisi acara di panggung 17an, nyanyi2 gitu. Terus anak2 ngomporin warga buat manggil gue dengan sebutan aura kasur. Ih bangkenya pol. Orang2 cuma ngetawain doang :(


Ngomong2 17an itu identik dgn pahlawan ya? Hehe gue jadi inget waktu gue smp ada sesi ngobrol sama temen2 gue abis upacara. Nah kita ngomongin siapa orang dirumah yg dianggep pahlawan. Eh jawabannya rata2 tuh kalo engga mbaknya (prt) yaa sopirnya. Hahaha. Jarang yg jawab bonyoknya gitu. Oon bgt ya? Gue aja jawabnya mbak gue juga. Alesannya simpel : she cooked better than my mom. Hehe oiya dia juga selalu back up gue kalo gue pulang telat dan mau diomelin nyokap. Ihh baikk bgt kaaannn :)

Jawaban temen2 gue lebih caur lagi. Inka dengan pembantunya yg bernama ella (yang mana lemot bgt) selalu diback up dari telfon2 terror dan blackmail dari cowo cowo yg ngejar2 diaa. Besides ella's the who always fulfilled inka's needs everyday. Yaiyalah susternya gitu. Teruuus sopirnya inka juga baiikk bgt. Asik lagi orangnya. Aduh namanya siapa sih lupa.
Terus ada lagi temen gue cowo yang sayang bgt sama sopirnya. Namanya pak jono. Alesannya lebih gapenting men. Jadi ceritanya pernah temen gue bingung milih diantara dua cewe yg dia suka. Trus dia curhat sama sopirnya. Sopirnya cuma jawab gini : pilih yang paling sering bikin kamu ketawa aja soalnya itu tandanya kamu nyaman jalan bareng sama dia. Hahaha dan benerrr dong dia jalan sama cewe itu sampe sma. Sayangnya putus karna pas kuliah jadi ldr gitu. But they keep hanging on each other dan masih sama2 single. Dan temen gue masih curhat ke pak jono sampe skrg tentang cewe yang sama ini zzzzz. Haha tapi pak jono suka bingung kalo dijelasin ttg chatting webcam msn dll jadinya kata temen gue doi udah sulit membantu ngasi advice.

Ada lagi sahabat gue (aduh nama mbaknya siapa ya lupa. Gue manggilnya mbaknya vania -vania nama temen gue). Waaahh ini mbak galaknyaa polll. Tapi kadang suka pengen sok asik juga kalo gue lagi jalan berlima. Haha dan gue tau bgt vania sayang sama mbaknya karna dari orok dia itu ngejagain ya mbaknya itu. Yang ngerawat ya si mbak itu. Udah kaya emaknya sendiri deh. Ya maklum kan emak babenya sibukk. Biasalah.


Hmm apalagi yaa? Banyak dehh. Tapi intinya gue mau bilang kalo buat anak2 jaman skrg kayanya pahlawan di tengah keluarga mereka bukan lagi sosok yg memiliki hubungan sedarah ya. Bukan emak babe kakak adek tante yangti yang kung dll. Soalnya mereka lebih deket sama prt ato sopir ato tukang kebonnya. Kenapa ya? Waaa ortu2 jaman skrg sibuuk sih. Besok gue engga boleh jadi ortu yg gitu ah. Malu juga kan kalo anak gue pas sd disuruh mengarang : who is your (favorite) hero dan mereka bakal nyebut nama pembokatnya. Zzzzzz.


Jadii gue mau belajar jadi pahlawan. Buat siapa ya? Buat diri gue sendiri aja deh. Tapi caranya belom tau gimana. Hehe laterlah. Happy independence day indonesiaku tuaaaaaa! :)

Kamga

Yaampun kamga itu okeeeee sekaliiii. Kenapaa sih tangga jarang perform lagu Be My Wife yaampun padahal itu baguus banget deh ya. Cengeng deh gue masakk cuma denger lagu itu pake headset (biar mantep gitu suaranya) eh langsung mewek2 gajelaaass. Auo. Silly nyoooo.

Kapan2 harus bisa dinyanyiin lagu ini lagi sama dia. In person :D

mati lampu :(

Zonk banget nih di tempat kkn gue lagi mati lampu. Gelaaap banget sedesa. Gabisa mandi deh karna airnya juga engga bisa nyala zzzzz. Alhasil dari abis magrib sampe hampir jam 9an gini kita cuma ngumpul2 aja di teras depan. Makan pecel lele rame rame (eh udah beberapa hari ini loh gue sama anak2 engga masakk. Hehe boseeen). Teruus main karambol. Abis ini main capsa apa ya? Ato nyanyi2 aja kali ya :p

Waaaa ga kerasa kayanya kurang dari dua minggu lagi kkn gue beress. Yess yess. Mungkin 10 hari lagi ya? Aaaaa teruus kuliah. Terus ketemu anak2. Tapi kuliah tinggal dikit nih. Jadwalnya pasti lebih susah barengan juga :(

Gue paling benci mati lampu. Karna biasanya bawaan jadi suram kalo mati lampu. Masak iya gue tidur lagi padahal tadi sore udah kebo bgt tidurnya. Eh gue sering banget loh yang kaya ketindihan gitu. Gara gara tidur sampe magrib huhu. Pamali ya. Anyways skrg ini bisa dibayangin ga sih apa yang bisa lo lakuin di pedalaman gini kalo mati lampu. Yaa walopun dimana mana mati lampu sama ajaaaa. Tapi kayanya kalo dijogja bisa ngaburr kemana gitu. Kalo disiniii :(

Eh kalo besokk masuk kuliah kan matkul gue tinggal dikit ya. Gue mau cari kesibukan ah. Apaan ya? Zzzzzz. Something that provides money or expenses one? Tapi gue mau les nyanyi ah sama yoga. Kali ini harus jadi engga boleh omdo. Sayang di jogja engga ada pranajaya. Sekalian les piano lagi apa ya? Eh ada ga sih tempat les nari jawa di jogja yang isinya anak mahasiswa? Kokk gue pengen juga ya? Hehe banyak mau deh.

Aaaa udah ah nulis2 gini gue jadi suram sendiri. Anak2 pada main karambol gue engga bisa nih. Akhirnya gue cuma bisa autis di musholla sambil nulis2 gini hahaha. Eh akhir2 ini emosi gue gampang naik turun kenapa deh ya. Gampang seneng tapi cepet juga jadi sedihh. Aaaa apa ini pms? Gue sebel bgt kalo udah pms gini rasanya gue gapengen jadi cewe deh haha. Abisan rese bgt ya cewe harus pms. Padahal cewe pms kan makhluk paling ga jelas sedunia. Dan entah kenapa gue selalu gagal mencegah bad impacts kalo lagi pms. Jadi better keep a distance from a pms girl :p

Eh gue lagi suka bgt dengerin this boy-nya james morrison walopun belom ngerti2 essence lagunya hehe. Oya sama the script yang the man who can't be moved. Haha lagu lama semua ya. Oya my favorite quote is : I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you. Huhu kasian ya. Menyebalkan emang kalo ngomong pake hati. Kapan ya gue pinterr sepinter pinternya orang sampe gaperlu lagi ngomong pake hati tapi pake otak. Itu lohh kaya si scarlett di G.I Joe. Eh tapi sama aja deng, people couldn't resist from stupid feeling that they called it love. Yaaah jadi mau nonton G.I Joe lagi hehe. Aduuuh ngelantur kan. Kebiasaan deh :(

Well that's all folks. Daripada gue bosen engga ada kerjaan pas gelap2 gini mending nulis2 bego di blog kan ya. Doakan ya 10 hari ke depan jalannya lancarr dan kuliaaahhh selamat datang! Hehe. Eh gue lagi denger hello goodbye nih and suddenly became overblushed remembering those winked eyes brush my cheek. Yaaaa long live memory. Please stop misery. Ah ngomong apaaa sih. Hehe udah deh. Dadaaahh!

go with the tempo

They want the time goes in andante everytime they're together
Badly time always flies allegro
All the goodness that they're afraid to let go
Maybe it's the matter of ego
But obviously they couldn't stop for another hello

Are things just like gilded butterflies?
Or false pretension that blurs their eyes?
They have feelings in temporary time but actually walk in rhyme

The more they look inside the more they got caught
It's like hunger people can't fight
Will someday they want to get out?

While they're fulfilling ego, they match the tempo
And her heart beats like a tango



:: Somehow I just missed my old piano to boost my mood working on stupid words ::

Jumpers

I feel like a jumper
Not that I am able to transport myself from one place to another place
But it's so sudden that I had things changed in 180 degrees
Then sometimes flipped back
Frankly I don't feel dizzy anymore
Maybe it is still odd
But I'm adjusting somehow I enjoy the thrill
It keeps me breathing :)

midnight disease

My wildest mind can't resist from this creative night.
It jumps from one scene to another scene.
It plays possibilities that I'm afraid to see.
Being stabbed in the chest, maybe it needs harder case.


:: I tweeted that not in a full version because of the lack of only 140 characters. Guess it should be more completed but I forgot the rest huhu. I'm a short term memory lost ::

kkn

Aaaaaa. KKN menyebalkaaaann. Membuat gendut :(

Ada kalii gue naik tiga ato lima kilo ya sekarang. Hiks gembil banget. Efek disini selalu masak sendiri jadinya makan lebih lahap. Udah gitu makannya teratur kan ya sehari pasti tiga kali. Belom ditambah jajan ini ituu (abisan apa-apa murah gilaaa) yaudah deh bengkak ini badan huhu. Eh tapi gue lagi kapok jajan deng soalnya kemaren malah gejala tipes gara-gara beli es kelapa sembarangan hehe.

Anyways kkn gue udah jalan tiga mingguan lebih. Asiklah. Bentar lagi beres. Gosipnya sih engga akan lebih dari tanggal 25 karna tanggal 24 aja udah jadwalnya masuk kuliah. Aaaaa engga sabar pengen selesai kkn nih. Minggu lalu gue balik ke jokja, iseng aja cengo-cengo bego pengen tiduur di kosan. Terusan pergi-pergi cuma sama peppy eh malah kangeen anak-anak. Hahaha masak pas lagi pergi itu gue tiba-tiba pengen telfon listy teruuus gue telfon eh mau nangis cobaaa. Ihh berasa kaya lagi ngomong sama siapa deh ya padahal listy doang :D

Kangeeeeeenn gilaaaaa. Sama semua orang. Susah deh nyebutinnya hehe. Kemaren juga si janjun aneh banget tumben-tumbenan nyariin gue bilang kangen hihi. Sampe vn sama bbm fotoo mereka (janjun listy) aaaaaa lucuuu banget. Makin kangen. Hiks :(

Hahaha sampe sms gue dong si janjun tapi kan im3 gue mati soalnya hapenya abis keflushed belom dibenerin hihii. Irya juga tiba-tiba nyariin gitu pas gue lagi di jokja dia ada feeling gue lagi pulang juga hehe yaampun emang deh yaa soulmate to the maxx iryaaaakuu huhu.

Tapinya sebel, abis kkn ini gue cuma ngambil tiga matkul doang kayanya. Semester depan udah langsung skripsi. Aaaaaa then ciao out from jokja dooonggg. Pasti makin susah deh ketemuan sama anak-anak pas semester ganjil besokk. Karna jadwal kuliahnya udah pada ga nyambung. Urusannya udah beda-beda. Grrrr at times like these I just wish that time could tick a little bit slower :(

Gue jadi sebel kkn. Hahaha entah kenapa kkn mengubah semuanya. Hidup orang-orang abis kkn pasti bakal berubah, beda-beda. Orientasinya lain. Mendadak gue takut lulus. Aaaah gue mau kuliah terus ajadeh :(

Sekarang gue cuma mau nunggu-nunggu kapan ya kkn selesai. I wanna go back to jokja and so do my people. Daaaannn abis ituuu langsung main-main. Oh August 25th please come faster!

a donkey that learned :)

Katanya masih ada foto gue sama mantan di fb terus gue buka2 lagi akhirnya. Hahaha. Gue buka2 notes yang pernah gue tulis waktu gue patah hati sepatah patahnya gitu. Teruuus konyol aja sekarang jadinya kalo gue inget2. Hidup suram banget duluu. Apa apa bawaannya nangis. Dikit dikit pesimis. Ngomongnya kemana2 ngelantuur. Ada orang yang care dikit langsung ditimpalin. Duhh poor me! :)

Tapii setelah gue baca lagi sekarang gue jadi gelii sendiri. Yaampun bodoh banget kan gue kenapa gue bisa segitunya waktu itu ya? Pendekk banget pikirannya. Kaya hidupp gue bakalan berhenti kalo gue ga get along sama orang itu lagi. Tapi ternyata I live today :D Useless dan wasteful banget waktu itu gue nyurahin waktu pikiran perasaan buat seseorang yang jelas2 engga mikirin gue lagi. Jelas2 dia udah bilang males dia bilang capek dia bilang nyerah. But I still hanged on that time :(

Ternyata emang gaboleh ya terlalu berharap sama orang. Sesayang apapun kita sama orang itu. Seberapapun orang itu pernah sayang sama kita. Karna kalo dia udah maless ya mau gimana lagi? Walopun udah lamaaa bgt juga jalan sama orang itu. Karna itu bukan jaminan. Ahahaha padahal dulu tiap hari gue bawaannya sedih. Galau. Pengennya cerita2 mulu. Tiap hari masih nyariin dia tapinya dia gapernah nyariin balikk. Haha boro2 nyariin, gue rasa waktu itu gue ditanggepin sama dia cuma karna kasian (that time yaaa).

Well people should honor themselves and I learn a lot from that. Gue rasa gue harus mengangkat diri gue lagi dikit dengan berhenti ngemis2 berhenti minta balikk ke keadaan semua. Karna ga baik maksain sesuatu yang udah ga ada. Gabisa maksain orang untuk ga berpaling. Pelan2 gue mundur juga. Pelan2 gue menata hidup sendirian. Hehehe gue ga pengen dibantuin orang lain supaya hidup gue bener2 membaikk karna gue sendirii dan yaa lumayanlah hasilnya.


Sekaraaaaanngggg gue masih kepikiran sihh karna that person engga berjalan baik dengan si ehem. Bukannya kenapa2 sihh. Gue emang udah bener2 move on tapi I feel bad when I remembered that I've once wished something bad would happen to them. Jahat ya? Engga lagi2 deh mikir gitu. Karna toh ga merubah keadaan juga tuh. Hehe gue tetep engga sama dia lagi juga dan yaa ga berniat sih. Abisan dia juga pernah ga interest (parno gue) dan dia terlalu berharap sama si ehem kayanyaa. Too bad. I am not going to let myself fall for third time and so on. Gue engga menyesal karna setelah gue pikir2 lagi itu bukan salah gue. I tried my best but it didn't work out well so that one is not the best for me. And my best is yet to come :)


Now I am in the top of the mood. If you could know what I mean :) My life goes well. Back on track. Obstacles start decreased. Kemaren2 sempet kesandung di sana sini tapi yaa ga masalah. Semuanya dijadiin pelajaran. Lebih settled lah skrg. I don't need any wishing well. I just want to live well today better another day. And appreciate what I got because people are usually too late that they don't know what they got til it's gone. Engga lagi2 mengulangi kesalahan seperti itu deh. Gue : happy go girl kalo kata ndyy :)

Comfyyyy

Comfortness keeps people hanging on each other. Basically, feeling comfortable is one great thing to live life each and every day well. People like us who are too comfort that we know we want to stay. The chapter starts to be written, one by one. We're just afraid to reach the end.

broken strings

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything
When I love you and so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again



:: If the strings are already broken where else we should play? If the truth hurts but the lie ain't better what do we choose? Well maybe we'll move forward. We make it faster ::

Halloooooo. Akhirnya ya :)

Woww. Gue baru tau kalo blogspot bisa dimaintain via henpon. Hehe tau gitu gue update ya dari kemaren2 :)

Anyways I am doing my kkn right now somewhere around Bantul. Tepatnya di desa Pundong deket jl. Parangtritis. So far so so lah kegiatannya. Hehe. Konyolnya adalah gue belom mulai2 ngelaksanain program dari sabtu kemaren. Kerjaan gue cuma masakk kepasar beres2 rumah sama main ke dukuh tetangga (olahraga gitu2 hehe).

Kkn ini seperti magang ibu rumah tangga. Kerjaann gue di dapur mulu hehe. Tapi gapapalah I enjoy it kokk karna gueee bisaa masak hihhi. Entah kenapa, apa ini tandanya betah tapi makan gue bisa sehari 3x ngemil tetep bekali2 dan luckily pupnya bisaa tiap harii yippiiee :p

Which is gue jarang banget pup teratur dikosan. Yaa mungkin karna makannya ga teratur juga sih hehe.

My roomate (the girls) are the best. I share room with nita and fensa. Fensa sih temen gardep dulu jadinya udah kenal lah ya. Tapi sumpaaah yg namanya nita ini banyool banget hahaha. Duhh bingung juga mulai ceritanya darimana. Nanti deh gue rasa gue akan memposting tulisan yang specially dedicated to nita hehe. Tentang kekonyolan dia aja gitu.

Ini aja gue harusnya udah tiduur. Tapi masih haha hihi sama anak2 haha nyeraaah dah dengerin nita ngomong. Gue takuut sakit perut. Maless pup malem2 kamar mandinya kan diluar :(


Anyways Pundong is cool especially at night. I likeee it. I used to consider about raising a family someday at village or any similar circumstances tapii nanti sekolah anak2 gue gimanaa ya kalo dikampung gitu? This topic has been the hottest issue recently in my group :D


Hmm. Yaudahlah. It feels good to maintain my blog again. Hehe. Udah lama gak ngobrol virtually ya? I miss people back home actually. Tadi papa telfon tapinya timing lg ga pas jadinya sekenanya deh jawab :(
Besok telfon lagi aahh.


Duhh besok harus bangun subuh nih. Masak. Ke pasar. Nyuci. Beres2 rumah. At first I was too excited but my excitement start to decrease kayanya bleeeeh :( Bosen deh. Mana enggak kuat banget sama dinginnya kalo malem sama subuh. Bikin sinuSHITis kambuuh hiks.


Gotta back to bed now. See you in couple days. xoxo. Don't let the bedbugs biteeeee :)